The Casanova Charm
by Tiberius Jones
Summary: Harry, desperate to help Ron play Keeper better, resorts to drastic measures. Coming across an old charm, Harry hopes to ease Ron's nerves by making him popular with the girls. WARNING: Adult themes, implied sexual activity. Minor alterations to canon.


Harry looked over at Ron who was still rocking back and forth. The big Quidditch match with Slytherin was tonight. Ron was all nerves. He had not done too well in the last match with Ravenclaw, allowing 350 points in just half an hour, but he was brilliant in practice. _Where is Hermione_? Harry wondered.

He found her in the library reading_ Witches and the Warlocks Who Love Them_.

"Hermione," said Harry, sitting down opposite her.

Hermione looked up from her reading, and, upon seeing Harry, turned a bright shade of fuchsia. She quickly closed the book, sliding it under a copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Harry! What a surprise," she said.

"Hermione, I am really worried for Ron. He is wonkers over tonight's match. You must know something we can do to calm him down," he beseeched of her.

"Harry, you know all too well that the magical enhancement of a player's skill calls for the immediate disqualification of said player and his suspension for all of the next season," Hermione explained in her pedantic manner.

"I know," Harry said, exasperated. "I don't want to make him play better, just make him not be so nervous. I am worried what he might do if he has another poor performance. He plays brilliantly when he doesn't think anyone is watching. You saw how he lost it with Ravenclaw, though; he totally bunked it. I know it's just a game, but he might do something drastic."

"I know, but he just needs to be confident," she said.

"How can we give him confidence, then?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, Harry. I i_just don't know_," she said empathetically.

Harry stood and wandered through the aisles of dusty tomes. He wondered to himself if there were any books about being confident, about spells that would not count against the team. He perused the titles in front of him._ Charms for Criminally Minded House Elves; 1, 2, 3, _a_nd Forget Me_; _Dangerous Dragons and the People Who Love Them_. Nothing, he thought to himself.

Walking back towards the entrance, he paused next to the roped off Restricted Section. He looked at the rows of worn, leather bound books, wondering if there was anything of value in there. How could he get in and have a look around? _What if _...? he mused.

Harry walked towards the counter behind which Madam Pince was busy sorting returned books, commenting on how roughly each one had been treated. Glancing around to see if he was being observed, Harry slid his wand from his robes and muttered "Confundo!"

Madam Pince stopped what she was doing and sat up, a blank look on her face.

"You will tell Harry Potter where to find any book about building confidence," Harry whispered, just loud enough for Madam Pince to hear him. "You will not recall that anyone told you to do this. Do you understand?"

Madam Pince said yes, blinked, and looked around bemusedly before spotting Harry standing at the counter.

"Oh, Harry Potter, I was meaning to tell you there are three books you should check out. _Three Bold Men_, _Summoning Self-confidence,_ and _Charms for Charming_. Would you like for me to find them for you?" she asked.

"Yes, please," Harry replied.

It took Madam Pince only a few minutes to find the books and return. Harry collected them and returned to his dormitory to see if there was anything he could use before the special practice Angelina Johnson had called for at noon.

He found nothing useful in _Three Bold Men_. They had been three blokes who were lost in the nether realm for a week because they forgot their destination halfway through Disapparating. They had apparently been drinking too much firewhisky.

_Summoning Self-confidence _was equally useless. Some witch thought she could summon the confidence from scarecrows for her own use. He was grudgingly leafing through _Charms for Charming _when he came across the Casanova Charm. He read eagerly, this seemed promising, if not for Ron's benefit, then for his own. The charm was pretty straightforward; it caused the receiver to be irresistible to the opposite sex for eight hours. You could not, however, cast it upon yourself, Harry read, disappointed.

_Well_, Harry thought to himself, _if Ron had a few admirers, he might be more confident_. Harry practiced the wand movements and memorized the incantation. He sped off in search of Ron, finally finding him sulking in the Great Hall eating cold toast.

"How you doing, mate?" Harry asked tentatively.

"I'm a bloody mess, Harry," Ron replied truthfully. "My stomach feels like it is doing somersaults. I hope I don't let the team down again."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll be great," said Harry.

"But what if I'm not, Harry. I can't take another match like last time," Ron whined. "I was horrendous."

Ron turned back to his toast. Harry pulled his wand from inside his robes. Making sure to keep it under the table, he muttered, "Irristáble!" Harry wondered if it had worked. Ron had not made any sign he was affected in any way.

Harry resigned to himself that nothing was going to help Ron so he got up and left, wanting to nap until practice. Ron told Harry to go ahead, he was going to eat some more toast in the hope his stomach would stop flopping around like a plimpy out of water.

Harry awoke with a start. Someone was poking him repeatedly. Harry grabbed for his glasses and saw Ron with a huge smile on his face and a bit of bewilderment in his eyes.

"You will not guess what just happened!" Ron shouted abruptly.

"What?" asked Harry blearily.

"Well, I was sitting there eating toast, right? Then, in comes Malfoy and his crowd. I am just sitting there and they started laughing. I turned to look at what was so funny and Pansy started smiling all funny at me," Ron said breathlessly.

"So?" said Harry.

"When have you ever known her to smile at anyone except Draco?" Ron shot back. "Anyway, I was feeling a bit put off by the laughing and left. I was going to go sit in the Owlery. On the way, Professor Sinistra saw me and called me into an empty classroom!"

"And?" said Harry, exasperated.

"She ... Um ... She kissed me!" Ron exploded.

Harry bolted upright, "What? You snogged Sinistra?" he shouted.

"Shh ... Keep it down," Ron said quietly, looking around needlessly.

"Guess what else," he said, voice low.

"What? What?" Harry said urgently.

"Parkinson came into the class while we were snogging; she had followed me or something. Anyway, Professor Sinistra kept on kissing me. Pansy walked right over and pulled my robes open and did ... you know?" Ron said, eyebrows raised, unsure how to say what he wanted to delicately.

"She what!" shouted Harry.

"Yeah, it was great, mate. Mind blowing really," Ron said dreamily.

"Oh, man," Harry said. "She ... ?"

Ron shook his head affirmative, smiling broadly.

"What did Sinistra do? Harry asked.

"Nothing, just kept snogging me while I felt her up. All of her. On the way back here, all the girls in the halls were acting like I was the lead singer from the Wierd Sisters or something. Look at my robes!" Ron said proudly, pointing out his tatered clothing.

Harry was flabbergasted. He had not expected this. Maybe this was a little too much. No wonder the book was in the Restricted Section. Ron sat down on his bed and was lost in his memories of the past hour. Harry checked the time and saw they were late for practice.

"Come on Ron, we're late!" Harry said, grabbing his broom and heading for the stairway.

"Right," said Ron, getting up slowly.

They made their way hurriedly towards the Quidditch pitch and the few girls they passed on the way squeeled when they saw Ron, grabbing at him. Harry and Ron broke into a run to get away from the frantic girls. They were finally able to be rid of them after they ran into the changing room and locked the door. Angelina and the rest of the team were all ready warming up. She saw them come out and immediately flew down to tear them a new one. She pulled up short, suddenly forgetting what she was mad about.

"Harry, laps!" she ordered.

Harry mounted his broom and started circling the stadium. Ron stood there, head hanging low, dreading Angelina's wrath.

"Hey, Ronikins," she said in a low sultry voice. "You look famous today. Have you ever joined the broom-in-the-clouds-club?"

Shocked, Ron turned bright red. Angelina was Fred's on again, off again girlfriend. She had never really talked to Ron except to scold him for something.

"Um ... I am not sure what that is," he squeaked.

She smiled sweetly and said with a wink, "Wait after practice, I'll show you."

With that she flew off to harangue the other players. She had barely gotten Umbridge to let Harry play this year. He had been banned with the Weasley twins. _Bitch_, she thought.

Angelina called practice early and ordered everyone out except Ron. Harry stalked back to the Gryffindor common room thinking he had gotten Ron into serious trouble by being late.

An hour and a half later, a haggard looking Ron pulled himself through the tunnel. Looking at Harry, he gestured upstairs with his head, dragging his broom behind him. Once upstairs, Ron collapsed on his bed. Looking at Harry, he shook his head and a smile began to grow on his flushed face.

"What?" asked Harry.

"Angelina," Ron said dreamily. "Angelina. I see what Fred likes about her."

"Oh, no!" Harry said breathlessly.

"Oh, yes! She ravaged me in the clouds, two hundred feet up. You have no idea how hard that is on a broom," Ron beamed.

Harry was scared now. How far had this gone? Was Ron too tired to even play? Would he care since he had just lost his virginity? Harry picked up _Charms for Charming_, hoping there was a reversing jinx that would stop this. No luck, it had to just wear off. Well, three more hours. They played in just two. The charm should be finished by the time the match was over.

Ron slept until the very last minute. Harry hurried Ron to the changing room where Angelina greeted him with a huge grin and covert wink. Ron beamed. Harry shook his head, partly from jealousy. Angelina really was quite pretty.

As they walked out onto the pitch, the crowd got quiet all of a sudden. Then, with a shrill shriek, all the girls in the stadium yelled wildly at Ron. They screamed marriage proposals and some fainted outright. Even McGonagall was hooting.

Madam Hooch quickly tossed the Quaffle and zoomed up near Ron's goal. Harry watched him carefully. He was basking in the adoration and not really paying attention. A Slytherin chaser came flying in fast from a steep angle, aiming for the far hoop. From ten foot Montague let the Quaffle fly. In a flash Ron had deflected it with the tip of his broom, barrel rolling, and reversing directions to thunderous applause from the spectators, especially the girls.

Harry watched Ron between his searches for the Snitch. Ron was flawless, playing with an ease and grace never seen before. Harry quit worrying as Angelina and the other chasers scored time and again.

Harry noticed the new Slytherin keeper was distracted by Ron. The Slytherin's beaters kept trying to knock Ron from his broom, but he adroitly evaded all their attempts. Gryffindor was up by one hundred and forty points to nil.

Wanting to put the game away, Harry looked in earnest for the Snitch. Angelina was being distracted by keeping a closer eye on Professor Hooch who had called the entire match from Ron's scoring area.

Harry spied the Snitch at the same moment the Slytherin seeker did. They both dived hard. The Snitch was fluttering in front of Ron. Harry noticed that if Ron did not move there was going to be a collision.

Ron was not paying attention though as the girls were starting another chorus of "Weasley is our King." Harry put on a burst of speed, overtaking the other seeker, and streaking straight for Ron.

"Watch out!" Harry yelled at Ron too late.

With his left hand Harry grabbed the Snitch, but, unable to stop, he crashed jarringly into Ron, causing them to tumble fifty feet to the pitch in a heap of wood and robes. There was a collective gasp as Ron and Harry lain tangled, unmoving.

Madam Hooch sped down, a look of terror on her slightly avian-shaped face. Her gold eyes looked from Harry to Ron. She began fawning over Ron as the girls in the crowd sobbed great lamentations.

Ron sat up slowly, as did Harry. Harry looked at Ron's face: he had a black eye and his lip was swelling. Harry felt blood trickling down his cheek. McGonagall and Sinistra were running full tilt towards them.

Suddenly, as if the air had been sucked out of the stadium, there was a great sigh and the girls began shaking their heads. Madam Hooch stood up and, determining them to be ok, turned and walked from the pitch.

Harry smiled broadly as Hermione came running up, fawning over the two of them.

"We won," she said incredulously. "Ron, you were fantastic!"

"Yeah," he said, surprised himself. "Not a bit nervous at all."

Harry laughed. McGonagall made a cursory check of them, advising them to see Madam Pomfrey, and went her own way, talking to Professor Sinistra in quiet tones.

"Ron, I didn't know so many girls liked you," Hermione said with an edge of jealousy barely hidden in her voice.

Ron shrugged, smiling.

"A regular Casanova," said Harry, a huge grin on his face.


End file.
